Autism is hard

Autism.

Why does it have to be so hard?

Schoolwork and IEPs are hard.

Driving back and forth to therapies. Money for this and that.

No time to just be a kid. To be together as a family.

It makes me tired. Then tonight Hayden told me that his friend in class told him today that he will no longer be his friend because he has Autism. He said he feels sorry for him.

Now he's questioning if any of his friends are real. If anyone really likes him. 

My heart is broken for him.  

I'm so tired of the battles.  I'm so tired of the comments and the demands and the rushing here and there.  

I just want him to have a good life. To do his best. To be happy. 

I don't understand why it has to be so hard.

I know this blog usually ends with a positive. 

But today I'm sad for my son. For all he's missing out on. For all he endures.

I'm sharing because I hope you'll educate others. Please help spread the word, that people with autism deserve a good life, like anyone else.  They are people too. 

Send up prayers that tomorrow will be a better day.


Edit 9/23/17:  Thank you to everyone for lifting us up. I have talked with Hayden extensively about friendship, reminding him of who he has on his team and the nature of making friends at this age. We will continue to explore it but he is happy and hopeful about the future.

Friday FUA: Goals

This week Hayden's Centrality therapist had him share with me his goal for the year. Apparently he came up with this all on his own. He said his goal is to be more mature. I almost started crying. This kid SO wants to be more like everyone else his age. He not only knows what the word mature means, but when asked, of all the things he could focus on this year, he used that word to define what he wants for himself.

He tries so hard and I'm amazed every day by the new things that he is able to do for himself. His focus is better. His mood is better. His attention toward others is much improved. My goal for him to one day be independent is still very much within reach and it makes me so happy and so proud.

This summer I was in the laundry room. I asked Hayden to come help me with someone. He came right away. I asked him to go to his closet and bring me some hangers. He went right there, came right back with the hangers, and handed them to me, saying "give me back the extras when you're done."  What?  You care about the extras?  

A few weeks back he and I were at a restaurant together alone. I went to use the restroom and when I came back the server came to me and said, "your son wanted me to let you know that he was in the restroom." What?? He found a stranger (safe adult) and asked them to tell his mom where he was so I wouldn't worry?

These are just two examples of how far he has come and the major breakthroughs we are seeing these past few months.

Then today at his school one of his aides told me that she had considered going to half time at work this year but one of the main reasons she didn't was because she wanted to continue to work with Hayden. She said he's so hard on himself and yet he's one of the smartest kids in the class. He makes her laugh and he's so witty. He's a joy to work with.

MY kid made her want to keep working with kids with special needs.

I don't know how I got so lucky as to be given this child from God but I am so grateful to be his Mommy.

Or Mom as my 'mature' son would say.

Beyond blessed.

#AutismISTreatable
#FUA

Time Timer

This is one of the best purchases we've ever made. It's called a Time Timer. You set the red section for how much time to do a task. It slowly moves and gets smaller until there's no red left. When time is up there's a quick alarm as well.

We use it for how much time there is until bedtime, or until we have to leave in the morning, or how much screen time the kids get. The kids can set it themselves for the amount of time we give them, and they (usually) hop right up when the time is done. It helps my son with autism to plan and pace himself, or speed up to get something that he wants. Like I said, well worth the money. We have two. Here is an amazon link. The little size is better because it fits on a desk and doesn't take up as much room.