Monday, December 19, 2011

Is it break yet?

Just two more days until I get two weeks off, but I don't think I'm going to make it.  The constant whining and screaming by these two is getting to me. It's usually because Rylie wants to play with whatever Hayden has, or eat whatever he is eating, and Hayden is extremely not happy about that prospect. Today after I told him to quit whining because I was grumpy he said, "oh, you are? Oh... I was just kidding.  I was just kidding then, Mommy. Ok?"  And then he let her play with his toy food.

Also I'm annoyed that I owe a ton of money to taxes for being self employed (I had the money saved up and spent it all on rent when I moved out), so I don't have money for new supplements as I had planned. And I'm annoyed because I haven't had as much time lately to give Hayden all his supplements, and his bruises are coming back on his legs.  I feel personally responsible, like if I only had 2 more hours in my day I could get him all his supplements and he wouldn't have bruises.  I know it's silly, but I'm just burnt out.  I'm tired. I just want Hayden and Rylie to be as healthy as they can be, and I don't have enough time to figure it out or make it happen.  I want to create a new job as an Autism consultant to parents, so I can just figure all this stuff out all day. Anybody want to hire me? I would do a good job.  ; )

Now I'm going to sleep so I can do it all over again tomorrow. With a smile on my face. Because "love is patient, love is kind," and at the end of the day I know my babies are so worth it. But a break sure will be nice...  : )

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